I can’t tell you the number of times I have felt like an imposter – both in my personal and professional life. Did you know that I wrote a children’s book? I then went through the lengthy process of having my book illustrated. Danny and I took the mondo (emotional and financial) leap to have it printed. There are many hard copies of said book and yet I still ask myself the question, “Can I call myself an author yet?!”.
Despite my progress and the number of books I have sold, I am still left thinking: Is someone going to notice that I only wrote one children’s book? Do I have to sell a certain number of copies in order to even call myself an author? If it’s only a children’s book and not an adult novel, does it even count? I could sit here all day and write down questions I have asked myself. I’m telling you these thoughts are not limited to me becoming an author. In fact, I feel similar thoughts in my day job. As it turns out, they have a term for it: Imposter Syndrome.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where one feels like an inadequate fraud regardless of any proven achievements. Unfortunately, many women fall prey to this syndrome, especially in business. I argue that we have these feelings because we are taking on positions in companies that we have never had before (#bossbabe). I have mentioned in previous blogs that I was promoted after I returned from maternity leave – Twice. I was promoted twice within six months. Regardless of my accomplishments I still have my doubts.
I have thought many times: Are they promoting me just because I am a female? Is the company looking to meet a quota? Are they promoting me just to show women that they can have a career here? Am I deserving of this or just in the right place at the right time? These are exactly the types of negative thoughts that we need to squash.
Imposter turned positive
I am on a mission to channel that negative energy into something good. I continue to work my ass off with hopes that my team appreciates me for being their boss. If upper management is trying to meet a quota, then I will show them they made a damn good decision to put me in this position. Do they want me to be the face of women for the company? If so, I will be their helping hand. Was I simply in the right place at the right time? Maybe. I certainly don’t know everything, but I also won’t sit here and pretend that I do. I will push forward, work hard, ask for help when I need it (even if it is from an intern!).
I know what I want to be and where I want to go, so I recognize my whole career is and will be a learning experience.
It takes a conscious effort to believe I was put in a role for a reason. I know what I want to be and where I want to go. My entire career is and will be a learning experience, so I don’t need to know everything today. From intern Britt to Boss Britt, I have chosen to observe my superiors, peers, and subordinates. I have done my best to learn from their successes and failures. In order to ensure that I continue to grow, this requires me to constantly reflect after any situation. I learn so that I can be the best version of myself.
Watch and learn
There are a lot of things that I want to be, but there are many things I don’t. For example, I do not appreciate it when a boss:
- asks a question to the group and every time responds, “that’s what I thought, just checking.”.
- micromanages every process and project that comes across their desk.
- thinks their way is the only way.
- is unapproachable and doesn’t take constructive feedback.
- takes credit for the work of others.
These are only a few examples of things I have watched managers do over the years and I make conscious choices not to be like this. Some days I fail, others I succeed. Whatever happens I always have to remember: I am a work in progress and, in order to be the best leader I can be, I need to continue learning. This means I can’t know everything. I have to come to terms with my shortcomings. I should solicit help where needed and, most importantly, be open to constructive feedback (even if it is from an intern!).
I am a work in progress and, in order to be the best leader I can be, I need to continue learning.
I don’t know any or all of the things my team appreciates about me, but I can tell you that their smiles and words of affirmation warm my heart every time I experience them. As women, we need to recognize that someone believed in us enough to put us into this position. I know, as long as I continue to learn, I will head down the path of bettering myself each and every day.
You are here for a reason
If you are wondering whether or not you have a right to be in the position you are in, don’t suffer in silence thinking you are a fraud. Turn every negative question you are asking yourself into something positive. Whether you need to go back to that job description and write down all of your accomplishments to prove to yourself that you deserve the job or hold that children’s book in your hand to truly realize your successes, do it. You are not an imposter, you are deserving. You are in that position for a reason. I would encourage you to hold your head high and go kick some ass!
